Ofre - Sacrifices

Da jeg gik på lærerseminariet, fortalte vores dansklærer os, at hun var blevet redaktør på en bog med noveller om mod. Hun ville gerne have en historie med fra Bibelen og valgte (så vidt jeg husker) historien om David og Goliat. Da forlæggeren så hendes valg, bad han hende om at ændre historien til den om Abraham, der ofrer sin søn Isak. Min dansklærer havde meget svært ved at se, hvad denne historie havde med mod at gøre men endte med at proppe historien ind i novellesamlingen alligevel. Og jeg har en gang imellem i årene, der er gået, gjort mig de samme tanker. Hvad i al videste verden har denne historie at gøre med mod? Jeg tror egentlig, at det først er for nylig, at jeg har forstået det for alvor. Men det er en speciel slags mod, denne historie handler om, som jeg vil kalde tros-mod.

Sagen var den, at Gud havde lovet Abraham, at han ville blive til et stort folk – gennem sin søn Isak. Ikke gennem sin anden søn. Så da Gud beder Abraham om at ofre sin søn, så gør Abraham det vel vidende, at Gud må have en plan. Han ved, at dette ikke bliver Isaks endeligt, og derfor tør han at handle i tro og ofre det, Gud beder ham om. Og da Gud ser Abrahams tro(s-mod), stopper han hele seancen. Nu er dette selvfølgelig ikke en historie, vi kan overføre direkte til i dag, men selveste princippet bag den kan vi bruge. JEG kan i hvert fald.

Det har været en lang proces at bestemme sig for at flytte fra Schweiz. Det har været den sværeste beslutning i mit liv. Og i lang tid gik jeg rundt og sagde til Gud: ”Du ved, at jeg vil gøre alt for dig. Jeg vil gerne ofre mig for denne sag. Jeg vil gerne blive her for dig. For du har gjort så meget for mig.” Sagen var bare den, at Gud ikke ønskede dette offer af mig. Det var ikke et særlig brugbart offer, for der var faktorer, der gjorde, at jeg ikke kunne trives her og dermed ikke gøre mit bedste for ham.

Andre gange i mit liv har det været lige modsat. Jeg har ofret ting, som i andres øjne har set helt mærkeligt ud. Jeg har hørt sætninger såsom: ”Du kan da ikke ofre dette. Du har din egen lykke at tænke på.” Men i alle de tidligere tilfælde, vidste jeg fra dybet af mit hjerte, at det var ofre, Gud ønskede af mig, og det førte altid velsignelse med sig på længere sigt at bringe disse ofre. Og når jeg tænker tilbage på disse episoder, så er det med glæde. Der var tros-mod. Denne gang handlede tros-modet om at gøre det stik modsatte af, hvad alle forventede af mig.

Jeg kender en anden kvinde, som har været i præcis samme situation, som jeg har været igennem i denne proces. På alle planer (også alle dem, man ikke kan skrive om på sin blog eller nogen andre steder.) Hun bad også til Gud, og Gud gav hende tros-mod. På trods af, at alt var så svært for hende, vidste hun, at hun skulle blive der, hvor hun var. Og Gud har velsignet hende for det. To ens historier. Samme Gud. To helt forskellige løsninger. Han er fantastisk, er han ikk?

Jeg tror, at det, jeg forsøger at sige er: Det er ikke alle ofre, Gud er interesserede i, men dem, han er interesserede i, dem må vi give! De giver altid bonus i sidste ende. De er altid mulige. Men de ofre, han ikke ønsker – lad os da for Guds skyld – og for vores egen – lade være med give ham dem.

When I studied at Teacher’s College, our literature professor told us that she had been the editor of a book of short stories about courage. She wanted to have a story from the Bible in there as well and selected (as I recall) the story of David and Goliath. When the publisher saw here choice, he asked her to change it into the story of Abraham sacrificing his son, Isac. My professor had a hard time understanding what this story had to do with courage but put the story in the book anyway. And since then I have occasionally in the years gone by, been thinking about this too. What on earth does this story have to do with courage? It was only recently that I understood. But the story is about a special kind of courage that I would call faith-courage.

The matter of the fact is that God had promised Abraham that a great people would descent from him - through his son Isac. Not through his other son. So when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son, Abraham knows that God must have a plan. He knows that this is not the end of Isac, and therefore he dares to act in faith and sacrifice what God has asked him about. And when God sees Abraham faith(-courage) he stops the whole act. Now this is obviously not a story, we can transfer directly to today, but the very principle behind it, we can use. I can anyway.

It's been a long process to decide to move from Switzerland. It has been the hardest decision of my life so far. And for a long time I walked around and said to God, "You know I will do anything for you. I will sacrifice anything you ask of me. I want to be here for you. For you have done so much for me." However, the thing was that God did not want that sacrifice of me. It was not a particularly useful sacrifice because there were factors that prevented me from thriving here and therefore I could not do my best for him.

Other times in my life it has been the other way around. I have sacrificed things which in the eyes of others have looked quite strange. I have heard phrases like, "You can not sacrifice this. You have your own happiness to think about." But in all previous cases, I knew from the bottom of my heart that this was a sacrifice God wanted of me and it always gave me great blessings long term to bring these sacrifices. And when I think back on these episodes, it is with joy. There was faith-courage. This time the faith-courage was to do the opposite of what everyone expected of me.

I know another woman who has been in exactly the same situation that I have been through in this process. At all levels (including all those whom I can not write about on this blog or anywhere else.) She also talked to God about the matter, and God gave her faith and courage. Despite the fact that everything was so hard for her, she knew that she had to stay put, where she was. And God has blessed her for it. Two similar stories. One God. Two different results. - He is amazing, isn't he!

I think that what I am trying to say is: It is not all sacrifices, God is interested in, but those he is interested in those we must give! They always have a blessing for us in the end. They are always possible. But the sacrifices he does not want - let us not give those to him.