En tid som denne – For such a time as this

I de sidste par måneder har jeg mærket Guds kærlighed på en dybere måde end nogensinde før. I forhold til min situation i Schweiz følte jeg mig virkelig presset ind i et hjørne. Jeg anede simpelthen ikke, hvad jeg skulle gøre. Men gang på gang viste Gud mig, at jeg var allervigtigst for ham. Ikke hvad jeg gjorde eller ikke gjorde. Bare hvem jeg er i hans øjne. Første gang, var da jeg som beskrevet i en tidligere blogpost, sagde til ham, at jeg ikke havde tid til at deale med min smerte, fordi jeg skulle lede et vigtigt kursus, og Gud prompte svarede, at jeg også var vigtig. (Og der blev faktisk tid til både kursus og mig…)

Men også senere, da jeg begyndte at forstå, at det ikke er alle ofre, Gud ønsker af os. Han ønsker rent faktisk, at vi skal leve i overensstemmelse med vores personlighed. Der er altid undtagelser for denne regel, som beskrevet i sidste blogpost, men jeg har bare virkelig mærket hans omsorg for MIG – som den, han har skabt mig til at være - i hele dette forløb.

Efter, at beslutning var taget, har jeg endnu engang oplevet hans omsorg for mig. De sidste par år, har folk nemlig gang på gang citeret et vers fra Esthers bog, når de omtalte mit job her på Kilchzimmer. Genfortalt siger det: ”Hvem ved, måske var det med henblik på en tid som denne, at du fik dette job” (Ester 4,14). Mange gange har folk brugt dette vers til at sige til mig: ”Du er lige præcis rette person på rette post på rette tid.” Og det har jeg også selv følt. Og nu skal jeg så væk herfra – hvad blev der lige af at være rette person på rette sted på rette tid? Lige præcis dette vers fra Esters bog har naget mig en smule efter, at beslutningen var taget. Men flere gange i de sidste dage, er der kommet nogle forbi mig og har sagt: ”Selv om du kun har været her i kort tid, så har du været her på rette tid og sted.” Og så har de citeret lige præcis dette vers fra Esters bog.

OK, dét kalder jeg Guds omsorg for lige præcis mig!

In the past few months, I have experienced God's love in a deeper way than ever before. In regards to my situation in Switzerland I felt really pushed into a corner. I simply did not know what I should do. But time and time again God showed me that I was so important to him. Not what I did or did not do for him. Just because of who I am in his eyes. The first time was - as described in a previous blog post – when I told him that I did not have time to deal with my pain, because I was organising an important course, and God promptly replied that I was important too. (And as it turned out there was actually time for both the course and for me...)

But also later when I began to understand that it is not all sacrifices that God wants from us. He actually prefers that we live according to our personality. There are always exceptions to this rule, as described in the last blog post, but I just really experienced his caring for me throughout this process. How he actually wanted me to life according to the personality he has created me with.

After the decision was taken, I have once again seen his love for me. The last few years, people repeatedly cited a verse from Esther's book when they mentioned my job here at Kilchzimmer. They said, “It was for a time as this that you got this job" (Ester 4:14). They used this verse to say, "You are the exactly right person at the right position at the right time." And I had the same feeling myself. And now I am leaving - what about being the right person at the right place at the right time? This exact verse from Ester has nagged me a little after the decision was taken. But several times in the last couple of days people have come to me, cited the verse from Ester again and said, "Even if you've only been here a short time, you have been the right person at the right time and place."

That’s what I call God's care for me!